- Lee Boyd Malvo (IV)
To read the full poem, click here.
Writing is for me an art form. It is an art form because it is a journey of self-discovery and self-exploration. The act of co-creating is always new, it is an outpouring of my soul. For one who is starved for authentic self-expression, the act of going within to discovery of what my heart knows is freedom. No longer must I search what others have written. I can go to the temple inside and knock and see what I find. That’s the joyous aspect, the release of a flood, a torrent of pent-up energy. Words then, are not just empty chit-chat-Ananda, words are a gateway to the worlds within the World.
Writing is a way for me to trust myself, to trust what is within. In this inner refuge, this inner domain, I am not bound by anything or anyone. Here I give voice to life. Often when inspiration strikes, there is a flash of awareness and a sense of Deja vu.
I write to discover the meaning to my existence. In this way, writing is an act of self-acceptance and self love. I’ve come to know that whatever I can find outside is already within, I simply just to ask and who and what I am is revealed to me.
I am a child of resilience and poverty. My father, Leslie Malvo, and my mother James have given both to me. Poverty I discovered is fivefold: physical, emotional, mental, psychic and spiritual. I lacked rootedness and belonging, so left on my own, I searched. The entire journey and everyone in it, all have been pivotal in helping me learn. What I have learned is simple. Everyone and everything suffers. How I choose to respond or react to suffering will create my destiny. I am here to be free from pride, vanity and to rule my destiny. When I was 5 years old and my mom took me to another state, she kicked me out of the car and told me to find my way home. I sat on the curb and cried for 20 minutes. She did not return. It was 3:30 p.m. and by 11:30 pm. I walked past her silently sitting on the porch, no words were shared. The lesson was learned. I am alone in the life story I tell myself, and I alone must work out my salvation. I am a child of trauma and resilience.